S.O.N.A.I.S. Comic Archive

Setting: office.
Max: The code quality of some projects on GitAxle is dubious to say the least.
Zhang: “ImplementationLogicError: class for errors that are supposed to never not occur.” Wut?

Max: So… these errors should occur all the time?
Zhang: As QA engineer, I'm not sure if this class definition should fill me with joy or sadness.
Max: Even without the double negation, it makes no sense whatsoever. Why define an exception that should never occur?

Zhang: Typical developer behavior. Instead of not writing faulty code in the first place, do it anyway, and then wrap it in an exception handler.
Max: Hey, I am not that kind of developer!
Zhang: Sorry, but QA considers every developer guilty until proven innocent.

Setting: office water cooler/kitchen area. Heidi looks at smartphone.
Heidi: I'll be damned: “Several Dead in Sudden Bar Blaze, Cause Unknown.” It's the bar where we were just a few days ago.
Max: Seriously?
Zhang: I guess it proves there is no perfect QA. At least I tried…

Adil enters.
Max: I hope they recover, it was a nice place to be. Hey, I have seen you taking hot water from both the water cooler and the coffee machine. Why is that?
Zhang: The coffee machine has a lower temperature more suited for green tea, the cooler's is better for infusions.

Adil: Oh my god, you have been measuring the temperatures, you are the biggest nerds I have ever met!
Max: Why, thanks for the compliment!
Adil: But… aargh, never mind! I give up.

Setting: Adil behind his desk, working on his laptop.
Adil: Uh-oh, this is not good.
Steve, at the door: No it isn't! You fell for a ransomware trap, didn't you?
Adil: Ehhh, yes. How do you know?
Steve: That crap is trying to spread through the network. Luckily I know a thing about firewalls…

Adil: Can anything be done?
Steve: I have a fairly recent backup of your files. I'll go for the “nuke from orbit” option and reinstall from scratch. You'll lose some things, but let that be a lesson.

Adil: Can't you give me a more secure computer than this?
Steve: Not if the security hole is due to PEBKAC.
Adil: Peb… what?
Steve: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.

Steve has taken Adil's laptop.
Steve: You were the weakest link in a social engineering exploit. No security system can protect against that.
Adil: I don't believe it, there must be some way.
Steve: You're right, there is. I'll be back in a minute.

Steve returns and puts something on Adil's desk.
Steve: Here you go, the most secure computer possible.
Adil: But… that's just a brick!
Steve: Correct.

Adil: I cannot do anything productive with a brick!
Steve: Perhaps, but you also cannot do anything wrong with it.
Adil: I don't like this approach to security.
Steve: Unfortunately, security is always opposite to usability.