S.O.N.A.I.S. Comic Archive

Steve: Now it's a matter of cleaning everything and thoroughly wiping all storage.
Max: Thank you, robot dog. None of us dared risk touching this thing, who knows what would have happened…
Oiba: You might have become infused with Office 97 functionality.

Steve: Oh my god. That sounds worse than dying!
Max: Do you have a name?
Oiba: I wouldn't know. I do have Marty Lennartz' voice, but I don't feel like a radio DJ at all.

Heidi: Being part Symo product, it could get a typical Symo name. How about OIB-A271?
Max: Real catchy, in typical Symo fashion… but why not A314?
Heidi: Pi is overrated.

Adil: Now the question is: do we tell Alana about this?
Steve: Heck no. She would believe we've all collectively lost it.
Max: Then I guess we should also keep OIB-A271 hidden from her.

Heidi: If she does find out, pretend it is one of my inventions.
OIB-A271: Who is Alana?
Max: Our CEO. Can you play along and act a little less self-aware should she discover you?
OIB-A271: I'll try, but as they say: your mileage may vary…

Adil: Why not just pretend Heidi made a self-aware robot?
Max: That would be headliner news, and it would become very awkward when asked to replicate it.
Steve: “Headliner: bunch of crackpots ends up in mental institution…”

Setting: kitchen/lunch area, Max is looking at a smartphone.
Max: Man, these pop-over screens on websites are annoying. They sort of remind me of games from end of last century.
Steve: How so?

Max: Remember ROTT, or Quake? They would try to make you reconsider quitting, through some light-hearted threat in a confirmation dialog.
Steve: Oh yeah, like “Press Y to signal firing squad.” Quake was mildly more aggressive though…

The view zooms out, revealing Adil sitting in background, listening in on the conversation.
Max: These websites aren't that different, some also beg if you dare to make a gesture that could signal you're about to leave.
Steve: Yeah, or they try to subscribe you to ever more push message spam.

Adil (thinking): Quake, huh? Maybe I should look into this, as maintainer of the company website. Statistics show visitors often leaving too soon…

Setting: Adil's office, Alana returns from the conference.
Alana: Anything noteworthy happened while I was away?
Adil: Uhh, no, nothing special, really. Hey, I have just updated our website.
Alana: OK, I'll take a look.

We see Alana's laptop screen. It shows the company website with a pop-up stating: “Do I need to bust your face open for trying to quit?”
Alana: ADIL! What the heck is this?

Adil: It's for visitor retention. I thought this would work better than the usual pop-overs…
Alana: Take it down before someone actually sees this!
Adil: So, no blanket party either?
Alana: For you maybe, if this isn't gone in 3 minutes!